Get a room

Yesterday I went for a swim in the Glasgow Uni pool, but I'm not going to bore you with how many laps I did, or my supreme mastery of the breast stroke, I'm just writing to express my annoyance at some couples who were in the pool. Now back in the day, i.e. the 80s, public swimming pools would prominently display posters with lists of forbidden activities, including the likes of bombing, ducking and petting. There're no such posters in the Glasgow Uni pool, but I'd have thought that the no petting rule would be fairly common knowledge and just general courteous behaviour. However the way two couples were carrying on was just not proper for a swimming pool environment. It just made the people near them, i.e. me, rather uncomfortable. I now sound like some sort of prude, but I think I'm in the right - there's a time a place with the pool just not being one of them. I propose a ban on couples having any sort of contact when in a swimming pool, with the penalty being a week under an icey cold shower. It may sound draconian, and some might say it's a step too far, but we must protect our right to not be slightly sickened by peoples poolside gropings.